... about telling the truth

One of my dad's friends was an amazing guy. His name was Hank and, to my ten year old eyes, he was larger than anyone I'd ever known before. 

He wasn't physically large, but he filled up the room. He laughed loudly, he spoke loudly, he lived loudly. He was happy and he made everyone around him feel good.

And such stories. His stories were amazing, colorful, funny and fascinating. 

And not true. 

I remember one time listening to one of his stories, but this time his wife was nearby: 

"I saw the biggest dog the other day, at the park..." "No dear, it wasn't at the park it was at the beach."

"You should have seen the dog's owner, such a little man..." "He wasn't all that little, he was well over five feet tall."

... and so on. A great story deflated into a ho-hum, nothing special story. 

He was not telling the exact truth, she was totally truthful and it was awful. 

As we are growing up, we are told that we must always tell the truth. But at the same time we see lots of examples where strictly telling the truth will get you in trouble. "Come kiss your aunt Gilda." "I don't want to, she smells funny." That's very truthful, but will get you in a bit of trouble. 

Some lying is bad. But some truth-telling is bad. 

Why? Do we always tell the truth -- and get into trouble? Or do we always lie? Do we just give up and say anything that comes to mind? 

Here is what I've learned and I wish my dad had told me: You must always tell the truth when it counts. 

If you lie to avoid punishment or if you lie to get someone else in trouble, that is wrong. 

If someone needs accurate information, make it accurate. 

No matter what might happen to you, tell the truth when it counts. (Now, this is usually when it will be hardest to actually tell the truth. But you do need to do this, and when you do, it will actually make you stronger and better.) 

Other than that, it isn't important. 

Tell me there's a unicorn in the backyard; that's fine. Tell me you just built a spaceship and flew to Mars; cool! It doesn't harm me, it doesn't harm anyone. 

Hank taught me that you can tell some very, very nice stories if you are willing to work with the facts a bit. 

Everybody likes a good story -- except, perhaps, Hank's wife.