... the easy way to reorganize

Everyone knows the old saw: "You always find the thing you're looking for in exactly the same place... the last place you look." 

 Here is a way to naturally re-organize things so you can, eventually, always find what you're looking for in the first place you look. 

After you've found what you wanted, and you're done with it, put it back in the first place you looked. That's where you thought it should be, so that's where it should live. 

If you keep doing this, you'll begin to recognize where you think the different types of things should be, so new objects can go there directly. 

It's a silly little thing, but it works.

... about telling the truth

One of my dad's friends was an amazing guy. His name was Hank and, to my ten year old eyes, he was larger than anyone I'd ever known before. 

He wasn't physically large, but he filled up the room. He laughed loudly, he spoke loudly, he lived loudly. He was happy and he made everyone around him feel good.

And such stories. His stories were amazing, colorful, funny and fascinating. 

And not true. 

I remember one time listening to one of his stories, but this time his wife was nearby: 

"I saw the biggest dog the other day, at the park..." "No dear, it wasn't at the park it was at the beach."

"You should have seen the dog's owner, such a little man..." "He wasn't all that little, he was well over five feet tall."

... and so on. A great story deflated into a ho-hum, nothing special story. 

He was not telling the exact truth, she was totally truthful and it was awful. 

As we are growing up, we are told that we must always tell the truth. But at the same time we see lots of examples where strictly telling the truth will get you in trouble. "Come kiss your aunt Gilda." "I don't want to, she smells funny." That's very truthful, but will get you in a bit of trouble. 

Some lying is bad. But some truth-telling is bad. 

Why? Do we always tell the truth -- and get into trouble? Or do we always lie? Do we just give up and say anything that comes to mind? 

Here is what I've learned and I wish my dad had told me: You must always tell the truth when it counts. 

If you lie to avoid punishment or if you lie to get someone else in trouble, that is wrong. 

If someone needs accurate information, make it accurate. 

No matter what might happen to you, tell the truth when it counts. (Now, this is usually when it will be hardest to actually tell the truth. But you do need to do this, and when you do, it will actually make you stronger and better.) 

Other than that, it isn't important. 

Tell me there's a unicorn in the backyard; that's fine. Tell me you just built a spaceship and flew to Mars; cool! It doesn't harm me, it doesn't harm anyone. 

Hank taught me that you can tell some very, very nice stories if you are willing to work with the facts a bit. 

Everybody likes a good story -- except, perhaps, Hank's wife.

.. about growing up

In ancient cultures, there often were special ceremonies or rites of passage; when you reached a certain age, you performed some ritual or trial and then, forever afterwards, you were an adult. 

It's a nice idea, but I doubt it was completely true then and it certainly isn't true today -- that you go along being a child and then, bang, you are suddenly an adult. 

It doesn't happen like that. 

And, if you go along expecting to suddenly know all you need to know, to have certainty about life, be responsible and sure... well, you're going to have a long wait. 

Here's the secret that all adults know, but usually won't tell you. At times, at any age, you will feel uncertain, lost, bewildered and alone. At times, you feel like you are faking it; that everyone else is an adult, but you somehow missed the orientation lecture and you're just a big child, pretending to be an adult. 

If you are lucky, you will learn the truth: That people are just people. There is no special demarcation when "child" becomes "adult". 

Sometimes you know what to do, and why, and when, and you can act with sureness and certainty, and sometimes you're lost and clueless. 

You can have that certainty about something at six years old, and be confused and worried at sixty. 

But generally, the more experience you get, the easier it becomes. So, when do you "grow up?" 

Every day. 

Every day you learn something new. Every day you learn more about yourself and more about the world. Hopefully, you never finish growing up. 

From my observation, there are some people who have never made it to being an adult. 

My "Dad advice" is to always work towards learning more and work towards taking more responsibility for yourself and the world around you. 

If you do that, you will be an adult.